Why Cuba Is Superior

Dear comrades I write you while in ill health but still supremely confident of my own egotistical grandeur and historical relevance. I write you as your ageing but superlative expression of true manhood and physical male glory. I write you not as an old, tired leader worn down by my ceaseless struggles against the satanic forces that control the world political-economy; but as a prophet of socialist utopia and a caring father of our beloved island. I am dear friends, writing to you as a companion of Christ, a comrade of Che Guevara and Hugo Chavez and the greatest benefactor that Cuba has ever seen. I write to inform you of our own greatness and of my own magnificence and to make sure that beyond my life we carry on in Cuba and in all of Latin America our glorious revolution. Lest the war-mongering, orgy-loving, slave-owning, fascist Americans try to sway you with their Hitlerite propaganda, I need to tell you directly from my heart, about our great struggle for freedom here in Cuba. In 1956 we deposed in the name of equality, communist love, and brotherly utopia, the fascist US backed regime of corrupt capitalists. This oppressive fascism had no pity, no love, nor any feelings of familial responsibility towards our island. With their American capitalist friends they raped our land; defoliated our woman and made Cuba nothing more than a nauseating Yankee island playground; home to decrepit playboys, capitalist exploiters and monied interests. My dear friends Cuba before our glorious revolution was a disgusting, orgy of contemptible capitalism that killed the poor, deflowered our virgin souls, and sold our national assets to the depraved Yanquis. As you know the Americans and all capitalists, including the Jews that run Washington, are fascists. They steal, kill, hate and control. The West is a slave owning Rosetta Stone Greek society run by rich white men, abetted by their whores and servile females. The only asset a capitalist possesses is the ability to lie and cheat. That is all my friends! They don't create comrades they steal! They steal from the poor, from Cuba, from Africa, from Asia, and from all of Latin America. They rape, pillage, burn, rip out, pull down and destroy in their lust for money and gold. My fellows I do not exaggerate when I say that capitalists are evil incarnate. As you know, only communist comrades and true socialists-in-arms comprehend reality, love and fellowship. We see the world for what it is a glorious spectacle of sharing and communal joy. Here in Cuba we love each other. We are one large family. We take care of each other. We are intelligent, spontaneous, nurturing and friendly. We live for each other; for the day; for the warm sunsets; the glowing breezes; the tranquil serenity of our nights; and the loving embrace of our comrades. We are educated, cultivated, of a higher bearing and standard and of greater quality than the dirty, intolerant, lying, killing hordes of capitalist Yanquis and their Jewish-capitalist friends. We are destiny comrades. Do not think I exaggerate my fellow friends in arms, when I state that America is history's evilest empire. Look for instance at the 600.000 they have murdered in Iraq! Compare that my friends with the great progress we have made in Cuba since 1956.

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